The Apparation Test
by Dead For All Time
Summary: Harry is ready to take the Apparation test... sort of. After dealing with Partingson, an insane druggie, he lands far away from his target. And he's with the last person he wants to see... sort of. Slash. R & R!
1. Prattling Partingson

_**The Apparation Test**_

**_Rating:_** R

**_Genre:_** Humour

**_Summery:_** Harry is ready to take the Apparation test... sort of. After dealing with Partingson, an insane druggie, he lands far away from his target. And he's with the last person he wants to see... sort of. Slash. R & R!

**_Disclaimer:_** I do not own Harry Potter. I never will. If you think I do, check with your doctor. Your medication needs to be changed. However, Partingson is mine, along with all his insane limb-removing wizard drugs. Steal him and die. Unless your name just happens to be J.K. Rowling and you like Partingson and wish to place him in a future Harry Potter novel. In that case, please e-mail me to ask permission and I will send a full character description. Also, I expect recognition. I want to see my name in either acknowledgments or dedications, thanking me for the character. If you do not, believe me, I will get you in a lot of trouble. I'm not stupid, like most humans. I will see you in court.

Thank you for reading this. I have only two chapters planned so far, but we'll see. The rating is more for the second (or third?) chapter. The first is more of a PG. Read some of my other stories. Like It's Mandatory! (Pro-Hermionians advised to stay away). And review them! The less you review, the less I write.  
  
**_Chapter one: Prattling Partingson_**

"Don't worry, Harry."

"Yeah, it's easy!"

"We passed. So can you!"

"You're the famous Harry Potter! You'll be the best Apparater ever!"

Harry Potter was on his way to his Apparation test. Fred and George Weasley were Apparating circles around him, trying to keep him calm.

"I'm sure you wont splinch yourself."

Er... maybe not trying too hard.

"Fred! George!" Harry yelled, trying to catch one of them. "Stop! You're not helping!" He grabbed George's arm, but Fred skipped out of reach.

This continued all the way to the Apparation building.

They walked into the largest waiting room Harry had ever seen. It was all chairs, except for a desk in the back and a door next to it. The twins grabbed some seats while Harry signed in. Five minutes later, a frazzled looking Lavender Brown emerged from the door with a strange looking man close behind. They shook hands and Lavender left quickly. The man picked up the sign-in sheet and his eyes popped out of his head.

"My stars!" the man exclaimed after chasing his eyes and popping them back in (Harry figured it was either some odd spell or a serious medical condition). "Oh I must be reading this wrong. No, this is right. I can't believe it! I am going to test the famous Harry Potter! Oh, this is something to tell the kids, if I had any, that is..."

He continued rambling on as he scanned the room. He easily picked Harry out of the large crowd of five people.

"Harry Potter!" he cried out. "Come! Come!"

"Come on, Harry," George said, snickering softly and pulling on Harry's arm.

Harry reluctantly followed the man into the back room. He looked the man over. The man definitely looked odder than he acted. The age was hard to determine, but mid-thirties seemed right. His hair looked like somebody had glued a muddy brown mop to his head and gave it a bowl cut. His eyes, which were the color of dead palm tree bark, darted quickly. They reminded Harry of Mad-Eye Moody's magical eye, except that they didn't go in the back of his head. He was about average height, maybe a bit short. And he was fat. Not Uncle Vernon size, but still large. He looked like a lumpy Santa Claus without the beard. He wore a light brown business suit which was a bit too small for him. It made his fat bulge oddly. He had a white shirt and the most repulsive tie Harry had ever seen. It was neon orange with thin baby puke green stripes.

Ugh.

"Well, well, well. Harry Potter! Not nervous, are you?" The man talked a mile a minute, barely pausing to breathe. "Of course you're not! You took down He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named! An Apparation test should be nothing to you! Nervous. Pffft! I should be carted off to Azkaban for suggesting such an absurd idea! I-"

"Oy, Partingson!" Fred yelled. "Harry came here for a test, not a rant!"

"We had the same guy," George muttered to Harry. "There is a reason he is called Prattling Partingson."

"Okay, all right, let's go!" Partingson yelled, throwing his fist in the air. He then dropped it and had to yell at Fred for stepping on it. Harry wondered if there were any wizard drugs that made one utterly insane and able to remove limbs. He made a mental note to ask the twins when they were far away from Partingson.

A half an hour later, Partingson was ready to start the test.

"Okay, Harry Potter, stand on this X," Partingson instructed, wildly waving his arms around. One flew off and landed on the other side of the room. The room was rather large, so while Partingson was retrieving his lost limb, Harry stole this opportunity to lean over to the twins and ask about this odd, odd man.

"Ol' Partingson is addicted to Quinors," George said.

Harry just became more confused, so Fred explained. "Quinors are wizard drugs. They are very dangerous, and very illegal. How Partingson got some is beyond me. They cause you to have excess energy and random limbs fly off at odd times. That makes Quinor addicts easy to spot. I don't know why Partingson hasn't been caught. Charlie had this guy the first time he took the test and he was hooked back then, too."

"He was thinner then," George added. "He- YEOW!!!!!!!!!" George clutched his face. One of the buttons on Partingson's shirt had popped off and flew at a tremendous speed right at the redhead's eye.

"Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man, I am so so so sorry, Partingson yelled running over. George let out a string of words that Molly would have killed him for. Fred fell over laughing. Partingson looked extremely guilty. He pulled a small a small blue pill from his pocket and popped it into his mouth. Instantly, he perked up. "Now, come on, I hardly think that is worth all this fuss. You won't die from a little pop in the eye. And what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger! Shoosh! Harry Potter needs to concentrate for his test. You can't make Harry Potter fail just cuz you want to make a little noise!"

George glared with his good eye, but stopped screaming. Fred led him off to the side, still snickering softly.

Partingson turned to Harry. "Okay, Harry Potter, here is the map. This is the target. This is the place you don't want to land in."

Harry looked to where Partingson was pointing. His heart instantly dropped to the floor (not literally. Partingson is the one on Quinors, not Harry).

"Why is my target near the Malfoys?" Harry asked.

"Cuz that is a wizards only community," Partingson explained. "We have been having some trouble with people who have targets too close to Muggle communities."

Fred snickered and muttered, "Ron."

Harry rolled his eyes and sighed. "Fine, let's just get this over with."

"Okay, Harry Potter! Stand right here and you know what to do!" Partingson said, and stepped back.

This has got to be the oddest test I've ever heard of. Harry thought and popped out of the room.

The first thing he felt was water. As he struggled to find the surface, he felt legs. His head instantly shot above the water. He heard a girlish shriek and felt a fist slam into his nose.

"What the hell?!?" the person screamed. "Get the hell out!"

Harry shook the water from his eyes and found himself face-to-face with Draco Malfoy.

Well, that was the first chapter. Hope you enjoyed it. I sure loved writing it. I think Partingson is the oddest character I've ever created. He's so kewl! I'm not sure if he'll appear again, but let's hope so!

Okay, review, review, review! I can't stress that enough. I'll dedicate the next chapter to who ever reviews this one. After all, they are the reason I updated! It's all for you, the reader! Let's see how many reviews I get now. Y'know, I do that for all my stories, so if you want your name in a chapter, review. Please no flames, they hurt. If you don't like it, don't read it. And no "constructive criticism". I don't like those. I write my story how I want it, not how you want it. If you have such great ideas, write your own damn story. (yes, I'm stubborn. live with it.)


	2. Splish splash, they are in the bath

_**The Apparation Test**_

**_Rating:_** R

**_Genre:_** Humour

**_Summery:_** Harry is ready to take the Apparation test... sort of. After dealing with Partingson, an insane druggie, he lands far away from his target. And he's with the _last_ person he wants to see... sort of. Slash. R & R!

**_Disclaimer:_** Is _Harry Potter_ mine yet? No? Damn. Oh, well, I guess I _still_ don't own _Harry Potter_ or any of the characters. Except for Partingson. He's mine! Forever and for always! Course, he's not in this chapter. Only Draco and Harry!

Squee! My very first lemon! I'm happy now. And it's a DracoHarry. One of my all time fave slash pairings. Sigh. So droolworthy.

Okay, _yes,_ this is a lemon. You don't like it, why the hell are you reading this? I believe I mentioned lemons earlier. Oh, I didn't? Sorry. LEMON!!!!!! Hee-hee. No, I'm not alright.

I would like to dedicate this chapter to all my wonderful reviewers:

theformat  
She-Who-Is-Not-To-Be-Psyc  
sensesfailrocker  
lydd  
alex  
ICE  
Lyla Hayden  
confusedheart  
yumi-sama  
GenX-Revolution  
Amanda  
Flammy  
Malfoy vs Potter  
sumisweet

You are all great! And special thanks to Serpent Guardian, Amanda, and Elise (my friends from my Drama class) . Without their constant nagging, this fic would not be finished now. Thanx to all!

_**Chapter 2**_

_**Splish-splash, they are in the bath**_

_Oh, great, _Harry thought. _Well, this isn't awkward at all!_

Harry realized the bath was full of bubbles and nearly fainted with relief. Just the knowledge of a naked Draco was bad enough, but if he saw anything-

A shudder shot through Harry and his blush deepened.

"What the bloody hell are you blushing about?" Draco snapped, almost as red as Harry. "And why are you still in my bath?"

"It's not like I wanted to be here," Harry muttered.

"What was that?"

Harry shook his head and started to stand. Bad move. He immediately fell and received a faceful of Draco's chest. Draco yipped and kneed Harry in the gut. Harry pulled back, gasping and coughing up bubbles.

"I'm still not sure _why_ you're here," Draco murmured, pulling his knees close to his chest.

Harry tried to wipe the bubbles off his glasses but only succeeded in smearing them. "Apparation test."

"Why was the target my _bathroom?_"

"It wasn't. I screwed up."

"Ha!" Draco smirked. "I passed the first time!"

"Who tested you?"

"Gangless."

"Yeah, well, _I _got Partingson."

Draco gave a short bark of laughter. "Partingson? No wonder you failed!" He grinned and a slender lock of hair fell over one eye. Harry suddenly had this immense urge to brush it away. Before he could stop, his hand reached out and pushed the hair back into place. Draco just looked at the hand and blinked. Harry pulled it back, the tips of his fingers lightly skimming over Draco's soft cheek.

Draco's blush grew all the way down his neck and over his shoulders. "What was that all about, Potter?"

Harry just shook his head, too afraid of what might come out of his mouth. What _was_ that all about? He didn't like Draco, did he? His body quickly answered that question. The bath seemed to get warmer, but there was no way Harry was standing up right now. Draco did not need to see how... erm, _happy_ Harry was. How embarrassing!

"Well, whatever, just get out," Draco said and grabbed the collar of Harry's sweater. He tried to fling Harry out of the tub, but Harry fell again, this time landing on top of Draco.

"AGH! Potter, get off!" Draco shrieked, his voice suddenly soprano.

Harry started to answer but found his lips pressed against Draco's neck and they refused to move. He bumped into Draco's hips and discovered that Draco was as happy to see him as he was to see Draco. Maybe more so.

"Potter!" Draco yelled and coughed on some bubbles. "Oh, my god! You're _hard!_ What the hell?!?!"

"Hey, I'm not the only one," Harry retorted, finally removing his lips. His tongue flicked out and stroked the soft skin of Draco's neck.

Draco made a noise that was half yip, half moan. "Potter... wha-"

Harry interrupted him by kissing him. Draco moaned softly and leaned into the kiss. Harry slid his hand down Draco's back, stopping right above his arse. Draco shot his hand up Harry's sweater.

Draco broke the kiss and tugged on the sweater. "Off."

Harry was quickly shirtless. Draco tossed the sweater to the floor. Harry's shoes and pants joined it a second later.

"A Slytherin and a Gryffindor," Draco mused. "Well, this should be interesting."

"Mm-hmm," Harry murmured. "Um, I don't know about you, but I've never done this before. I'm not sure what I should stick where."

"Are you saying you and Weasley never fooled around? Shock!"

"Hey, do you want sex?"

"I'll be quiet."

Harry leaned in and kissed him again. Draco moaned.

"Hey, I thought you said you'd be quiet," Harry joked.

"I lied," Draco said, trying to put their lips together again.

"Ah, a true Slytherin."

"Okay, now do _you_ want sex?"

Harry replied by removing his boxers. Draco pulled him close.

"Draco?"

"Hmm?"

"Have you ever done this before?"

"No, Harry, I haven't."

"Harry? Not _Potter?"_

"Yes, you're _Harry_. Now let's do this." Draco moved his hand down until it was right above Harry's cock. The hand moved around it, never touching.

"Tease," Harry moaned. In response, one finger trailed down Harry's thigh. Harry's breathing became quicker. "How long are you going to tease me?"

"As long as I want," Draco replied. His hand hovered over Harry's needy cock a few more seconds. "Done!"

Draco grabbed him. A strangled scream burst from Harry's throat. Draco's hand stroked him, squeezing gently every few seconds. Harry grabbed Draco's hips, pulling a moan from the blond.

"H-Harry," Draco moaned, removing his hands from Harry's cock. Harry gave a disappointed groan. "Harry, turn around."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

Harry did as he was told (yeah, Draco's dominant). Draco pulled him against his hardened cock and started to slide into Harry's arse. Harry let out a surprised gasp, which instantly turned into a moan of pleasure.

"Draco."

"Hn?"

"What about lubricant?"

"Got none."

"Huh? Don't you kinda need that for this?"

"I thought you'd never done this."

"I've... read about it."

"Read about it? You perv." Draco grabbed his wand. He pointed it at his cock and muttered, "_Astroglideus (1)."_ He was then able to slip in very easily. "Better?" He was answered with a moan. "Good." He pushed himself deeper into Harry while he resumed stroking Harry's cock.

Harry began panting with pleasure. He moaned Draco's name a few times, but he quickly became unable to form intelligible words.

Draco thrust himself all the way into Harry. He grinned as a scream shot out of the black-haired boy's throat. He was suddenly very thankful for the permanent Silencing Charm spelled into the bathroom walls, floor, and ceiling and the five different locking charms on the door. _Very_ very thankful.

Draco pulled his cock almost all the way out until only the tip remained in. He then shoved it back in quickly. He repeated this in-and-out motion several times, each time causing Harry to become louder and louder. A shiver ran through Draco as his semen shot out into Harry. A few seconds later, Draco felt Harry's release wash over his exploring fingers.

They both went limp. Draco slid himself out of Harry and wrapped his arms around him.

"Draco?" Harry whispered, wincing slightly as he adjusted his position.

"Hmm?"

"Why did it take us so long to get together?"

"I don't know. How long have you liked me?"

"Well, I just realized it today, but I guess I've liked you for a long time. You?"

"I was brought up to despise the Boy-Who-Lived. But when I actually met you, I... I don't know, I just didn't see you as the downfall of the Dark Lord. I saw you as a nice boy with an odd scar."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Draco spoke. "How should we act when we go back to school? People will expect us to still be enemies."

"Oh, man, I didn't even think about that. I don't want to pretend you're my enemy!"

"I know. Neither do I."

"We should be friends, just to see the reactions."

"Oh, _that_ will work well. I can just see the headlines. _Harry Potter greets Draco Malfoy with a kiss._ You know it'll make the papers."

Harry laughed. "Oh, those articles will be a blast! _The Boy-Who-Lived shocked the world when he announced his new love interest was Draco Malfoy._"

"Got a better idea?"

"No."

"Well?"

"I don't know," Harry sighed. "I guess we can figure it out at school."

Draco sat up slightly. "Hey, what about your test?"

Harry sank in the water. "Please don't make me go back."

"Partingson, right?"

"Not just that. Fred and George were with me."

"Those twins? Weren't they expelled?"

"They left, yeah. I just don't know how I would explain something like this."

"Can they read minds?"

"No."

"Then how would they know?"

"I'm soaking wet and I'm probably going to be walking a little funny. Those guys aren't stupid. They'll figure _something_ happened."

Draco thought for a minute. "I can't help with the walking. But I know a quick drying spell. That help?"

Harry planted a kiss on Draco's lips. "Thanks. But-"

"But what?"

"Can you turn back time? I've been gone for a little while."

Draco laughed. "Sorry."

Harry grinned. "I love your laugh. It feels like a thousand tiny lips are kissing me all over."

"Is that so?" Draco asked. He ran his fingers over Harry's chest and up to his neck.

"Whoa, there! I'm gonna get horny all over again if you keep that up!"

"Now, is that so bad?"

"Not if I could stay. But I have to go and I'd rather not return with a hard-on."

Draco gave a big dramatic sigh. "Fine. Get dressed and I'll perform the drying spell."

Harry nodded and, with Draco's help, managed to fall out of the tub. He stood and stretched.

Draco stared at the water running down Harry's slender body. He swallowed hard and looked around for his wand. He found it carelessly discarded by Harry's shoes. He picked it up and turned to Harry, who had just finished buttoning his pants. His sweater was still on the floor. Draco wished he had a camera. He wanted to remember this moment forever.

When Harry was fully dressed, Draco performed the drying spell. Harry kissed him and Apparated out of the bathroom without another word.

"I love you, Harry Potter," Draco murmured to the air where Harry had just stood.

-------------------------------

(1) _Astroglideus_ Comes from the real lubricant Astroglide. According to Jeff Foxworthy, you can put it on a Cadillac and get it into a doghouse. Nice.

Wow, this was a long chapter! I hadn't planned for it to be this long. Well longer chapters equals more details. More details equals more lemony goodness!

Lemons are great! HAPPYHAPPYHAPPY! I was chanting that the entire time I was writing this. I'm sure I would have gotten a few looks if it wasn't normal for me.

Anyway, reviewing time! Please tell me how good this was compared to other lemons. Remember, flames are hurtful. If you don't like it, don't read it. And no "constructive criticism". I'm not going to redo this story, so I don't need ideas for what I've already written. Also, I don't see it as helpful advise. I see it as you telling me what I did wrong, and that makes me sad. You don't want to make me sad, do you?

I have no idea how long the third chapter will take, considering how long this one took me. And I knew exactly what I wanted to happen in this one! So, next year okay? Alright, alright, I'll try not to take that long.

For now, this is Sekhmet Reborn saying, "Good night and good lemons!"


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